And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize