Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize