I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
