I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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