I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize