oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
