Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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