I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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