Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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