When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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