Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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