Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
