Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
