dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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