I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
