i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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