i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
