Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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