I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
