We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
