McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
time to smoke my breakfast
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
