I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
