you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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