So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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