Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
