i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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