Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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