i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
