im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
