i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
