I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
