Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
