i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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