i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
