we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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