so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
