The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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