and you said cock pushups were impossible
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
