wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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