do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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