am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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