i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
COCAINE IS GR8
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
