On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
