I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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