u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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