Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
