There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
