he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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