And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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