how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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