I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I need moral support for this bender
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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