he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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