There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Randomize
