Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
