I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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