It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
