i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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