420 ftw
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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