i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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