when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He has the fingertips of a God
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