I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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