i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
