The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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