So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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