sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
