why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
