No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
