im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
