I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
