how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't shave. On purpose
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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